I lied at church

I lied at church tonight. Several times in the same conversation. I was walking along, cruising towards the door to leave after a long day of 50th Anniversary Church Activities. I was feeling pretty good, I had been extremely social and not lied a single time about anything- this did not occur to me until later as i rarely lie, but in retrospect I feel i could have at that moment felt proud because I had not been lying. I am cruising along, and all of a sudden an arm shoots out and grabs me, "Are you the youngest Horst girl?" a familiar looking old woman asks me, clinging to my arm. "Yes...I am, ummm Shelly. It's so good to see you!" (at this point i am saying this to anyone who recognizes me, as I remember no one). The woman-Vi I find out later, grabs at my left hand and holds it up examining it with a look of pity and disappointment, I realize she is looking for a ring. "Oh, don't worry, I have a boyfriend, we've been together 5 years, we live together in Seattle." Silence. SHIT SHIT SHIT. That is a cardinal sin! I quickly backtrack when I observed the look of absolute Horror on her face,"I MEAN, we both LIVE in Seattle- ha ha ha- we don't live TOGETHER! HA HA HA!" She almost passed out on the floor she was so relieved. "I thought you meant you lived TOGETHER the way you said it, but you're a smart girl, you know better than that. Honey, just WAIT until you get married!" "Oh ABSOLUTELY, I will wait, yes I am smarter than that, I'm sure we'll get married soon, don't worry!" I COULD NOT STOP LYING. "Well I have to go! It was great to see you! Bye!" Then RUNNING out of the church, almost collapsing on the grass..."Mom I lied at church." I found out today that the woman I lied to is not only a church elder, but also the LONGEST member of the church, a founding member at that. Geez.

By the way, the photo above was taken in the ladies bathroom of my parents church. The border says "A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Just something to ponder in the ladies room.