manifesto by request (more to add later)

by iviewfromthetop.blogspot.com
manifesto from friend of one million years. thanks L. this is amazing. 

clear
calm
free
live in moment
future no fear
cherish family and friends
love thy self most
laugh like no tomorrow
travel to unfamiliar places
enjoy returning too...
take care of body
body take care of you
don't forget coffee in the morning
and favorite things....
"may the longtime sunshine upon you
all love surround you
and the pure light within you
guide your way home" -unkown

!!!

 it is done! i remembered lyrics, did not fall, made a joke that people laughed at. fuck. i conquered a demon. and it wasn't so bad. look out for me at your local open mike night. jk. 

thx to J who brought me flowers and everyone who sent amazing energy, texts, emails and love. so awesome. 

manifesto 09 (subject to change at any moment)

believe in sunshine. brand new sheets.

clean floors. the air after a thunderstorm.

breathe.

allow the good ones in. keep the others out.

which means there are few. LOVE the few.

feast and famine. (you know what i mean.)

trust that feeling in chest.

when it is tight, it means make change.

immediately.

treat heart as a prize. award it as such.

sing about it.

honesty to a fault. revel in it.

run in rainstorms. kiss on park benches.

open eyes to beauty.

ride life straight to perfect laughter.


So now that you've read mine... I need yours. there are no rules, no rights or wrongs. just beliefs, guiding philosophies. Please share your manifesto with me. i won't repost it if you don't want me to. 

.......................................

today's the day. it's already been a journey through nerves, depression, cleansing, deep breathing, an awakening, and just pure practicing. i officially hate the song that i am singing with a passion. it is evil. i want something easy, and with no meaning.  

i bought a new dress to wear onstage. I will look the part of a folk princess even if i don't sound it. i wish i had tamborine sticks to bang onstage like the girl from mt. st. helen's vietnam band... then i would not be nervous, i would just have fun. 

i will be channeling my inner stevie nicks today as inspiration (minus the drugs :)

oh yeah, and something for me to remember today:



that IS me!

rehearsal today. with microphone and all! i'm nervous and excited. the actual show is tomorrow. I'm equally nervous and excited. woo hoo! 

sorry that i took my site down for a second...i thought it was the right thing to do. and then i remembered my manifesto. If it brings me happiness, then eff everybody else. sure it's an online journal that anyone can read, but really who cares, but the people that know and care about ME? And anyone who is looking out of curiosity, well, i hope they find something that can help them in their life as well. 

xoxoxoxo

S

with a girl like you

good- march madness, duh. so far at least, knock on wood, fingers crossed!

bad- dreary day in Seatown.

ugly- my house, i need to clean this weekend!

pretty- my heart. and my face :) 

it's interesting trying to maintain a balance in life. I have a tendency to try to take my focus to extremes when it comes to work, life. i am really trying to balance that out right now. not sure how it is going yet, but my heart feels good, my head feels good and that's really the goal right? my soul is still out there, but it probably will be for most of my life, it likes to wander. so a month ahead with very little travel, should give me some time to reflect and build. I hope that the things that i want to build on hold the weight i want to place on them. 

oh man.

the state of my apartment building is steadily deteriorating. I'm not sure that this even helps deter people from using the stairs or if it makes them walk over to check out the crime scene... fix the damn stairs, Gaylene!



Saw this my first night back in Seattle from Austin. Made me wish I could say the same thing. I have to get out of this city.  until then, keep on.  my favorite part is the bottle that appears to have been turned into a bomb...

when you enter "girl" in your itunes library search you WILL get an amazing playlist.

kansas i miss you.



whimsy ain't cheap.

Tejas. i like you.

Even the sunburn you gave me. 'til next time. XOXO. 

moon towers = magic.

Moonlight Towers - 1895

In the Austin of the 1890's many areas were underdeveloped, hilly, and unpaved. This presented a problem when it came to lighting the streets. In place of normal street lights the City of Austin opted for 31 towers to provide artificial light to the rapidly growing city. Such light towers were already a common form of lighting in many U.S. cities in the late 19th century. The towers, erected in 1894-1895 by the Fort Wayne Electric Company of Indiana, were approximately 165 feet tall, weighed about 5,000 pounds and used a series of guy wires to keep them vertical. Over the years many of the original 31 towers were lost to construction, errant vehicles and other unfortunate circumstances. Today just 17 of the towers remain standing in Austin. These 17 towers are the last surviving examples of the once popular tower lighting system commonly used throughout the country. They are now designated as official state archeological landmarks and are listed in the National Register of Historic Places.

When the first moonlight towers were constructed residents feared that the lights would cause havoc with the forces of nature. They feared that the artificial light would cause their crops to grow 24 hours a day and that egg-laying hens would be driven to lay eggs 24 hours a day. Other than a few confused roosters who reportedly "never knew when to stop crowing" the lights produced no negative side effects. However, the towers were by no means trouble-free. Only weeks after the the towers began operating a workman, Gilbert Searight, fell to his death from the top of the tower at 9th and Guadalupe. At least one tower collapsed soon after it was erected. Despite these troubles and the towers themselves sometimes being referred to as "ugly". The glowing light they produced, commonly called "artificial moonlight" was reportedly quite beautiful.

In my experience (mexico, the caribbean and austin) Roosters NEVER know when to stop crowing. Thanks to Lauren for sharing the magic with me. 

awakening

Listening to Sufjan Stevens "Chicago"...this song always struck me as a good snow song. "all things know, all thing(snow)"

Paris, je t'aime

katie.

This is really what you want on your wall. although we could do an airplant project next week while i am there! We have almost a week!

frog on my toe

j has strep so last night we had a couch party. At this couch party i drank wine, she drank vitamin water and hot tea. We got noodles. We sat on our computers and played music for each other. found things online and compared inspiration. I painted my nails. she thinks i might have done 15 coats. might be another o.c.d. situation. lovely evening overall. brucelee even joined- which he rarely does. the easter eggs. well. they got thrown across the room for some reason.

until it ends there is no end

i have totally forgotten to do my best/worst lists lately! too much going on, i guess. 

best: totally appropriate new song to learn in voice lessons.  "all through the night" although i do not like cyndi lauper, this is a great song. fun to sing. impossible to sing without singing really loud!

worst: circles under my eyes today!

AND i totally had cheese and crackers for dinner tonight. that could probably work into either category pretty easily. best because it's my favorite thing to eat...worst because...well eff that reason, it's in the best category. 

sunrise and sunset

i just swept the floor and got absolutely nothing. that means i must have swept it already today, which means i am o.c.d. sweeping again. there has to be a support group for this sort of thing. 

virgo moon

A disruptive Virgo Full Moon on March 10th constitutes a reality check clarifying the changes that will help you turn your dreams into reality. (moonsurf.com)

for some reason i went tanning today. i also made the call that still has me shaking.

5 deep breaths...

5....
4....
3....
2....
1....

breathe.

constellations

in rainbows

dreams

or a wolf to be exact

I don't know why singing helps, but it does. This is what I'm singing tonight to help me through. 

listen to this here

Blitzen Trapper

Furr

Yeah, when I was only seventeen
I could hear the angels whispering
So I drove into the woods
And wandered aimlessly about
Until I heard my mother shouting through the fog
It turned out to be the howling of a dog
Or a wolf, to be exact
The sound sent shivers down my back
But I was drawn into the pack and before long
They allowed me to join in and sing their song
So from the cliffs and highest hills
Yeah, we would gladly get our fill
Howling endlessly and shrilly at the dawn
And I lost the taste for judging right from wrong
For my flesh had turned to fur
Yeah, and my thoughts they surely were
Turned to instinct and obedience to God

You can wear your fur
Like a river on fire
But you'd better be sure
If you're making God a liar
I'm a rattlesnake, babe,
I'm like fuel on fire
So if you're gonna get made
Don't be afraid of what you've learned

On the day that I turned 23
I was curled up underneath a dogwood tree
When suddenly a girl
Her skin the color of a pearl
She wandered aimlessly, but she didn't seem to see
She was listening for the angels just like me
So I stood and looked about
I brushed the leaves off of my snout
And then I heard my mother shouting through the trees
You should have seen that girl go shaky at the knees
So I took her by the arm
We settled down upon a farm
And raised our children up as gently as you please

And now my fur has turned to skin
And I've been quickly ushered in
To a world that, I confess, I do not know
But I still dream of running careless through the snow
Through the howling winds that blow
Across the ancient distant flow
To fill our bodies up like water till we know

You can wear your fur
Like a river on fire
But you'd better be sure
If you're making God a liar
I'm a rattlesnake, babe,
I'm like fuel on fire
So if you're gonna get made
Don't be afraid of what you've learned

there's a reason.

today marks one step closer to baby brayden officially becoming a part of the clan. His mother signed the papers relinquishing her rights as a parent. my sister told me and i almost started crying in a barnes and noble.

on a sad note my uncle keith has been in and out of the hospital with a kidney infection and other health problems recently. uncle keith has always been an inspiration to me. He always showed me that you don't have to believe something just because the people around you do. he has always spoken his mind and backed up his beliefs on everything from sports to religion to politics. Much to the chagrin of his family. not only did he make family gatherings interesting, he also made me feel validated in my tendency to want to argue the other side. So if in a conversation with you I randomly try to see the view point of the other person, the one you want me to hate...well Keith had something to do with that. along with a few other stubborn people that brought me up. you know who you are. odd how a family can be so open minded yet so stubborn at the same time. 

the weather is beginning to turn warmer and my thoughts turn to summer in the northwest. boots turn to flats then to sandals. umbrellas to sunglasses. i vow to revel in the sunshine like i never knew i could.  in spf 30 of course.