A beginning with no end, an end with no beginning

Really there is no way to describe how I am feeling. I am taking a day off tomorrow to collect myself and figure out what way is up. The last two photos sum up my feelings and mentality for this last couple of weeks. The rest are places, feelings, gifts, thoughts.  

perspective

Lately life has been so busy, crazy and heart racing that all I want is some time to pull back and get a little perspective. Flying over Seattle helped. So did hanging out with a baby puppy named meyer. I forgot my computer charger, so this will be the last post until I return from Vancouver. But it is guaranteed I will have some good material when I am back. Canada is full of weird things that i can take pictures of...

daydream

I haven't been dreaming lately. I have been so busy, stressed and tired that I have ceased to have my normal nighttime visions. So I have been trying to escape by daydreaming. Going to a sunnier, happier places in my mind. Higher places, quieter places. If this were an alternate universe in which I could control my own location and destiny, I would be on top of a mountain in Japan. I imagine it to be misty, green, peaceful. Even though it is probably actually sunny, hot and loud. My life has been very loud lately. It's so nice when you can find moments of serenity in the midst. As I type this Petty sleeps on his back, his little back legs moving...i bet he is chasing a squirrel.  

full moon, roller derby, thai wall decor and other important items from my weekend

to swing or not to swing

it's a full moon tonight and i have seen it coming for days in the crazy way people have been acting. It's been a ridiculous week, full of stress and drama. So I'm going sailing. In order to keep it light i am uploading 1 of 3 videos of me trying to get the courage up to swing from a vine over a ravine in St. Lucia. I don't want to spoil the ending, I do in the very last video actually swing. But the videos of me having an internal battle are funnier. Enjoy. I'm not sure why I have that freaky huge smile when i am scared...

sprout

These mushrooms sprouted out of one of our houseplants while ago. I have been looking for an excuse to write about them because they caught us so off guard. Where did they come from, and how?! My friend Josh and his wife had a little baby girl Madeleine Poppie enter their lives today. And she is a beautiful survivor. After 64 hours of labor, the whole family is exhausted, but ecstatic. These mushrooms grew out of nothing, out of nowhere in our apartment and showed Rob and I that there is a magic in life that we will never fully grasp. While our experience is so small compared to Josh and his new baby, there is a beauty and wonder in the emergence of life on all levels. Welcome to the world Madeleine Poppie. I can't wait to hang out with you. You are one tiny little miracle. 

Target Hates Women (but loves the color red)

I think Target hates women. There is absolutely no other explanation for the florescent lighting in the fitting rooms. It is their big middle finger to women of the world. "Oh hello ladies, were you wondering what your body really looks like? Ha ha ha (evil laugh) it basically looks like a pale, fat dead person!" But then again, I think this all stems from the bagel that i had for breakfast this morning. I NEVER eat bagels. My mom had this diet book that had pictures of comparisons of how many carbs different food items had in them. Basically it said that for ONE bagel you could eat an ENTIRE loaf of bread. That's how many carbs are in one bagel. So I pretty much never eat bagels. I much prefer eating something that would be very hard to compare. Like a granola bar. For this ONE granola bar... you could eat ONE BOWL OF CEREAL. When Rob is out of town, I inevitably eat poorly. I hate cooking (actually I don't mind cooking, I HATE dishes and I can see far enough into the future to know that cooking dinner means washing dishes too). So I make simple things that require few dishes and little effort. In addition to that I eat out every single chance I get. Eating out is pretty much my version of heaven. No dishes, no cooking, getting waited on, not even having to get up to get a drink... I love love love eating out. I have a friend in Chicago who is documenting every single thing he consumes for an entire year. It scares me to think about how many slim #4's from Jimmy John's that would entail for me. I've had at least 3 this month already. I know, I just had to allocate my expenses from my company card. It forces me to know exactly where I ate each day, with whom and how many times a month I have eaten pad thai (on average 4). Today I managed to stretch my company card funded slim#4 into 2 meals, splitting it in half and eating it for lunch and dinner. Mainly because I feel so guilty about that freaking bagel. loaf of bread. bagel. Needless to say, Target got none of my money for being so hateful towards women. Okay, that's a lie. I bought a shirt. But it was only $22. 







This is Jessup. He is the one documenting his consumption of food. If I find his blog I will link it. But the main thing about Jessup is his freakish multicolored sideburns. This was not done on purpose. This is just how he is.