Panamania

VACATION IS FINALLY PLANNED. APPROVED. WILL BE BOOKED BY MONDAY. thank GOD. In less than 4 weeks I will be on a beach in Panama with two of my best friends in the world. 

So now comes the task of finding my outfitting inspiration for the trip. Last trip was tropical glam in the Caribbean. gold accessories galore. I think this year I will continue going forward with the West coast Golden Child theme that i have been developing. Think California in the 70's. It needs to be more defined though...

vintage sundresses. long ones. wait, maybe kaftans too...yes definitely kaftans. 

high waist shorts. peasant tops. 

hippy hair- braided, wavy, pinned back, loose.

long necklaces. wood detail accessories.

sandals of course. 

swimwear poses a problem because last years suit really only fits with trop glam. I have to make it work though because I can't buy a new suit. Truth be told I bought 2 new suits last year...

NOW if there is anyway we can stay in some sort of treehouse on the beach, everything will be complete.

delirium

i am home all week working on writing reviews for my people at work. Working from home sounds nice, but the amount of work i got done today was miniscule. I kept getting distracted, thinking if i moved rooms i would be able to concentrate, kept having technical problems, etc. Didn't get out of bed (have laptop) until about 10:30 and then didn't get dressed until noon at which point I actually put on a dress and tights and then proceeded to sit on the couch and try to work for 4 hours. I don't know why i didn't accept the reality that it didn't matter what i put on... i knew i wasn't leaving the house. 

I've been feeling under the weather this week, so i have been taking it easy anyway, but i just had a thought that makes me feel like maybe i have a temperature. I just imagined if we were actually paid by the hour. Like if there was a little man who sat and handed over $20 (or whatever an hourly rate looks like these days) every hour. and then you took your twenty, folded it neatly, put it in your pocket, maybe said "thank you" and then continued typing. but then THAT means that the little man would have his OWN little man paying HIM by the hour and so on and so forth. oh man. it's so dumb that it made me laugh for ever. It has to be a little man or otherwise it's not funny. I also imagine a little curtsy happening when you accept the money... anyway, delirium, back to work. 

manifesto by request (more to add later)

by iviewfromthetop.blogspot.com
manifesto from friend of one million years. thanks L. this is amazing. 

clear
calm
free
live in moment
future no fear
cherish family and friends
love thy self most
laugh like no tomorrow
travel to unfamiliar places
enjoy returning too...
take care of body
body take care of you
don't forget coffee in the morning
and favorite things....
"may the longtime sunshine upon you
all love surround you
and the pure light within you
guide your way home" -unkown

!!!

 it is done! i remembered lyrics, did not fall, made a joke that people laughed at. fuck. i conquered a demon. and it wasn't so bad. look out for me at your local open mike night. jk. 

thx to J who brought me flowers and everyone who sent amazing energy, texts, emails and love. so awesome. 

manifesto 09 (subject to change at any moment)

believe in sunshine. brand new sheets.

clean floors. the air after a thunderstorm.

breathe.

allow the good ones in. keep the others out.

which means there are few. LOVE the few.

feast and famine. (you know what i mean.)

trust that feeling in chest.

when it is tight, it means make change.

immediately.

treat heart as a prize. award it as such.

sing about it.

honesty to a fault. revel in it.

run in rainstorms. kiss on park benches.

open eyes to beauty.

ride life straight to perfect laughter.


So now that you've read mine... I need yours. there are no rules, no rights or wrongs. just beliefs, guiding philosophies. Please share your manifesto with me. i won't repost it if you don't want me to. 

.......................................

today's the day. it's already been a journey through nerves, depression, cleansing, deep breathing, an awakening, and just pure practicing. i officially hate the song that i am singing with a passion. it is evil. i want something easy, and with no meaning.  

i bought a new dress to wear onstage. I will look the part of a folk princess even if i don't sound it. i wish i had tamborine sticks to bang onstage like the girl from mt. st. helen's vietnam band... then i would not be nervous, i would just have fun. 

i will be channeling my inner stevie nicks today as inspiration (minus the drugs :)

oh yeah, and something for me to remember today:



that IS me!