Don't fade on me.

Petty the Dog.

top awesome things about Petty the Dog.
1. He requires a launch pad in order to jump up on the bed and couch. which is why we decorate with yoga mats.
2. He loves to snuggle under blankets. in fact he is asleep next to my legs right now.
3. He hates rain. Will go outside pee right by the stairs and then run back up. I've had to literally carry him outside in the rain before because he refused to go!
4. He loves snow! Will jump around in it. stick his nose in it, eat it!
5. His favorite toys are stuffed squirrels
6. His favorite thing to do on a walk is chase real squirrels.
7. He literally got OBSESSED with the neighbor cat Joey this year. It was all he thought about. He wanted to go outside constantly so he could search for Joey!
8.He loves to eat cat litter. eww.
9. When you ask him if he's hungry he gets so excited that he will dance around and shake his butt.
10. When out of treat options, he loves ice cubes almost more than real treats!
 

involuntary cleanse

I realized when i booked this trip home that it would be a time to reflect. I imagined a pleasant week hanging out with my family, playing with my nephews and every now and then taking the time to prep myself for life without Rob and Petty. 

The stomach flu had different ideas. I spent the last couple of days literally purging. Without being able to do much else, I have been completely in my head analyzing and overanalyzing my life to figure out what steps i need to take to keep life on track, while my body did a cleanse of it's own. 

Then there was the memory purging. I went to Rob's house to get the remainder of my belongings. I took 2 bins of photos and letters that document our entire relationship. I had to go through each letter and photograph to determine who gets what and what should be tossed. It's so hard to look at all of these and not wonder what we did wrong. How could we have prevented this. Or was it supposed to be? Were we only supposed to be involved in this way for a moment in time. 

My mother, inspired by my organization with this project, then set me upon my boxes and boxes of memorabilia that is stored in her house from my childhood and college days. What you should know is that i have traditionally been a memory packrat. I used to keep every single card, letter, photograph, you name it. So these boxes are daunting. Here is an amazing list of the things i found today.

1. A box FULL of Mcdonalds toys from my youth. The entire Bambi set! Thumper! 

2. The entire collection of sweet valley high books. yikes. no wonder my perceptions about how things should be are so warped.

3. The people magazine from the week Kurt Cobain died. (don't worry- totally keeping it)

4. My first bra. it's so tiny!

5. Journals from my entire high school career. follows my love life as it swings from Ethan, to Matthew, to Eric, back to Ethan again. documents my torrid love affair with hallucinogens (sorry mom). and (rather confusingly, considering my loose policy on drugs) my aversion to teen sex.

6. My Andre Agassi and Dillon McKay posters.

7. The first mixtape i ever received from a boy

8. A LOT of really bad artwork

9. Oddly, a get well card from when my sister broke her nose. I had a strange tendency as a small child to hoard all things Susan, so this must be left over from that phase. 

10. An i.d. bracelet. Not from Jeremy Degenstein as expected, I think I threw that in his face at his locker our freshman year. From my sister. Awww. It says "love, Susan" 

a beginning.

I will be posting here as well. who knows. maybe it will be only be selectively secretive, have prettier potions, more powerful magic and unlimited whimsy.

http://iwalkedandithought.tumblr.com/

at least on this new site i can figure out how to create a link. 

i walked and i thought

bye bye snow, '08

When it rains, it pours.

I think my land lady wants us to fall and die. Our stairs were nonexistent and invisible under the snowdrift that had replaced them. The neighbors were simply snowboarding down them, but I have no snowboard, nor snow shoes for such things. So I was forced to take matters into my own hands and literally shovel them off with a freaking dustpan. and, yes, I DID buy 3 containers of Morton's salt so that i could de-ice them as well. 

at this point i have been snowed in on the hill for 5 days. and counting. 

Dark times call out for Love light.