air war

woke up this morning with brighter eyes and a clearer viewpoint. it's like being a little kid. when you are tired, life is harder, the world can seem so daunting, but it is impossible to have any perspective. it can just feel hopeless. but then a good night's rest can make all the difference. 

I feel like i might have made a mistake today. when i was at my voice lesson, which i have publicly declared to be my form of therapy, no intentions of EVER performing in front of anyone but my instructor. anyway, there is a recital at the end of march. she feels i am ready. and wants me to perform. with a band. oh shit. i said i might consider it. oh shit. but if feel like it would be good for me. another personal hurdle to jump. she told me to invite 3 people that i trust and i laughed at her. I have one person in seattle that i trust, and she sings better than i do. but with all these changes i said i would tread into waters outside of my comfort zone and this is WELL outside.  We're talking international waters here. I'm not posting dates, times, or locations ever. don't even bother asking mom. If i make it though this alive, i might someday let you hear me sing. actually it's not hearing that bothers me...it's the seeing. the stage. oh shit. 

p.s. my only audience besides my instructor has been brucelee...who HATES singing. he bites my ankles and feet when i practice and then walks around yelling at me. i guess any response outside of that is good?